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Adult Spin the Bottle
Dr. Liz Powell, a psychologist, author, and speaker at Sex-Positive Psych and Building Open Relationship, has a new take on Spin the Bottle. Whomever the bottle “picks” makes a request for what they’d like to do with the person who spun it — from a handshake to hot eye sex across the circle to a peck on the cheek. The spinner then gets to accept the offer or make a counter offer. When both agree on what to do, it’s go time.
But Powell says this game isn’t just a grown-up version of the teen classic: “Everyone gets to practice asking for what they want and saying no — some of the most important skills for happy sex lives!”
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This game is for a group of lovers or friends who trust each other and are okay with some kissing amongst each other, says Powell. Here’s how to play: Pick a person to start as the guesser. The guesser indicates who they would be okay with kissing (consent first!). Blindfold the guesser and mix up the people who are participating. The participants take turns kissing the guesser and the guesser tries to determine who kissed them based on the kiss. Afterwards, take off the blindfold and tell them how they did. Pick a new guesser and start again.
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If you’re both movie buffs, recreating your favorite kissing scenes from films makes for a sexy and fun night. Whether you feel inspired by the steamy refrigerator foreplay from 9 1/2 Weeks or the super-sexy smooch in Cruel Intentions, Dr. Laura Deitsch, a licensed clinical counselor and resident sexologist at Be Vibrant, recommends choosing a few scenes in advance and performing them for your partner. Your partner has to guess the movie before you switch turns.
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Still getting to know your partner’s kissing preferences? Deitsch recommends using a naughty prop — a blindfold — in a sweet way. Blindfold your partner and silently approach them. Kiss them someplace unexpected and have them rate how they liked it on a scale of one to 10. This will help players catalog future likes and dislikes of special spots.
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Show and Tell
Sometimes, it’s more difficult to describe what we want than to show someone, Powell says. This game is here to help. To start, pick who’s giving first and who’s receiving first. The person who’s giving blindfolds the receiver and kisses the receiver the way the giver most likes to be kissed. The receiver then describes what they felt and the giver tells the receiver why they like that kind of kissing. Then the receiver takes a shot at kissing the giver the way the giver just showed them. Switch roles and start all over again.
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Deitsch has the perfect kiss-as-foreplay game: Lay your partner down on the bed, naked. Start at their toes and move up their body, trying to make them squirm by either tickling or arousal. The naked partner has to try not to move. See how far you get, then reverse roles. Whoever makes it closer to the top of the head gets their sex position first that session.
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Deitsch recommends investing in a pair of Dirty Dice and letting fate determine when — and where — you’ll give and get kisses (among other things). Just be prepared to have to kiss someone’s toe or arm, which could be tons of fun.
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Some kissing games lead straight to hot, steamy sex, and others — like this meditative kissing exercise — can improve your intimacy, according to Dr. Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, regular expert child psychologist on The Doctors, and author of The Self-Aware Parent.
”Lock eye-to-eye gaze and take your best shot at kissing for the longest time with the least lip-to-lip contact,” Walfish says. “This strategy takes you out of yourself and requires a tremendous amount of focus on your partner. You must barely touch lips and stay locked in eye contact. It’s an extremely bonding experience.”
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Language lovers, rejoice: You can play the “Hot Word” game anywhere. “Come up with a code word and every time you hear it, find your lover and French kiss them — wherever you are,” says Dr. Jess O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. “This game offers a reminder that kissing isn’t just a prelude to sex — but a passionate activity on its own.” She recommends picking a phrase you hear often, like “thank you” or “cheers.”
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Grab your lip balm! A kiss doesn’t have to be fast and furious to be passionate. “If your lover seeks romance and often needs help relaxing to get in the mood, slide your lips gently against his with only feather-light contact,” O’Reilly says. “Take your time and gently pucker his lower lip between yours allowing your gentle breathing to slow his breath rate and send his body into a state of deep relaxation.”
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Got a sweet tooth? Take a chocolate truffle in your mouth, pass it to your partner, and proceed to share it while kissing. “It melts and you get to have a sweet flavor and a sweet moment all at the same time,” Deitsch says.
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Choose a hot spot on your body (one that you love to have kissed) and build anticipation by disallowing contact with that area for a set amount of time (a few minutes or a full day), suggests O’Reilly. Have your lover tease all around the area with their warm breath and tongue, but let the deprivation enhance pleasure until the game ends so that the kisses are even more pleasurable when they finally arrive.
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According to O’Reilley, research suggests that dopamine levels are higher when you’re anticipating a reward than when you actually receive it, which is why this game is just so darn sexy.
”Blindfold your lover and have them point at a few spots on their body that they’d like you to kiss,” O’Reilly says. “Choose one and tease around the area first to build anticipation. The takeaway is that giving your partner exactly what they want may be less pleasurable than teasing, building tension, and alluding to pleasure.”
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This game explores areas of your partner’s mouth you may be neglecting — but that can push them over the edge. “Give your honey a peek into your oral skills as you masterfully trace your tongue around the curves of her lips paying extra attention to the thin skin in the corners where the upper and lower lips meet,” O’Reilly says. “If her lips remain closed, sensually slide your tongue from one side to the other just inside the crease of her lips.”
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As you kiss, you not only exchange energy and saliva, but a spike in dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with reward and pleasure, which can create a natural high. O’Reilly recommends prolonging the euphoria by pressing your lips passionately into his, resting your tongue inside of his mouth without moving. Breathe deeply through your nose as your pupils dilate and the blood rushes to the surface of your skin.